To all those kids who survived the 1930s, ’40s, ’50s, ’60s and ’70s!

First, we survived being born to mothers who may have smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes.

Then, after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets, and, when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps, not helmets, on our heads. [Read more →]

WOMAN’S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She’s sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box..

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.. [Read more →]

This past Friday I went to sign my Dogs up for welfare.

At first the lady said, “Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare”.

So I explained to her that my Dogs are mixed in color, unemployed, lazy, can’t speak English and have no friggin’ clue who their Daddys are. They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and medical care, and feel guilty because they are dogs.

So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify. My Dogs get their first checks next Friday.

Damn this is a great country.

Hoping to get my dogs ObamaCare, too.