This past Friday I went to sign my Dogs up for welfare.

At first the lady said, “Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare”.

So I explained to her that my Dogs are mixed in color, unemployed, lazy, can’t speak English and have no friggin’ clue who their Daddys are. They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and medical care, and feel guilty because they are dogs.

So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify. My Dogs get their first checks next Friday.

Damn this is a great country.

Hoping to get my dogs ObamaCare, too.

A suggestion for employers on how to lay off employees in the new Obama economy:

Dear Employees:

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, our prices should have to increase by about 10%. But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead. This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I didn’t know how to choose who would have to go.

So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty ‘Obama’ bumper stickers on our employees’ cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can’t think of a better or more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change…… I gave it to them. They should be grateful.

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

THE BOSS